If there's something in you that's blocking God's love, then you need to let that go and have it be healed in order to be open to God's love. You can't access God's love and keep your block.
Blocks are blocks to awareness of God's love. You can't have your hate and have love at the same time. You have to let the hate go.
This is why God does not unconditionally love your blocks, your hates, your illusions. If he could, you would be able to keep your hateful illusions at the same time as be with God. This is impossible.
God and His Kingdom have certain conditions - certain requirements, if you will. By this I don't mean God is conditional. Just that, as ACIM says, the Kingdom has certain conditions that you must meet if you are to exist there fully. One condition of the Kingdom is that you must love fully. You can't therefore access and hang out in the Kingdom if you have hate in you.
You also can't bring the Kingdom `into` the place where hate is. ACIM speaks multiple times about how God is kept away from your inner altar when you have placed false Gods and idols (like hidden hates) there. Also it speaks of how love can't enter where it is not welcome. Love is gentle and unforceful so it does not attempt to push away your hates and fears against your will. And it does not attempt to say you are loved at the same time as keeping them.
You are always loved. But the YOU that is always loved is the YOU that God Created, not the YOU that you made. The you that you made DOES NOT EXIST and God does not love it.
If you want to be loved, you MUST surrender your false ego self and all of its defenses against love. You must go to where love IS and not hide where love is not. It's not going to come into your fantasies of death and make them real or spiritualized.
It's a choice. It's up to you. Do you want God's love or do you want your ego illusions? You can't keep both. God's reality has no opposite. You can be loved, but you can't accept it or access it or experience it while you block it, and every block you have is not what God created and must be recognized as not existing. Only then can you experience love fully.